Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like had I been diagnosed with ASD as a child. Would it have helped me? Would there have been a greater understanding for the seemingly odd things I do? Or would I have been labeled and pigeon-holed? I can never know, but I do know how things have changed for me since I was diagnosed in March of this year. I now have a word for my lifelong struggles. I know why, despite years of therapy to treat my anxiety, I never really got any better. I know why it hurts to look people in the eye. I know why I can comfortably sleep with someone who is only a friend but cannot handle kissing my husband. I have a lot of answers for things that I once thought were just evidence that I was an awful person who did not deserve happiness. But I also have a lot of doubts about my future. Quite frequently, I hear that I don't look autistic or that you'd never be able to tell I have a "problem" if I didn't mention it. Even m...